Whether you’re going through a divorce or you and your ex are unmarried parents who are separating, discussing how you’ll co-parent can be one of the most challenging conversations you’ll have moving forward with your ex. Thankfully, focusing on the creation of a thoughtful and well-structured parenting plan can help you to navigate this conversation – and related conversations to come – far more effectively than you otherwise might.
A parenting plan, sometimes referred to as a parenting agreement, is a way for you and your ex to set expectations for your co-parenting (or parallel parenting, depending on your approach) arrangements. Once it is finalized by the court, it will become legally binding. This is important, as you’ll need a way to both enforce any breaches by your ex and uphold your rights and your child’s interests more generally.
Looking ahead
The well-being of your child should be the focus of your discussions. A child-centered approach to their needs, including their education, healthcare, emotional stability and extracurricular activities, is going to give your parenting plan – or your proposal, if your ex won’t agree to foundational terms and you have to resolve your dispute in court – the greatest chance of being approved by a judge.
As you set expectations, be prepared to discuss, and compromise on, important matters, including parenting time schedules, holidays and vacation time. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a position where you have to go to court, which can be expensive and risky, as doing so takes control over the situation and transfers it to a judge.
Ultimately, conversations about parenting plans can become emotional. However, if you keep your efforts focused, you can start laying the groundwork for an effective approach to co-parenting as your situation evolves.
